House of Chop – Slash and Burn

tired of seeing literally thousands of people everyday

i want to be alone

tired of seeing buildings

where is the skyline?

tired of not seeing anything green

never thought seeing patches of grass would make me happy

tired of coworkers that are inefficient

fax your own damn work yourself

want to go back…but where to?

I’m dreamin’ of a brown Christmas
Just like the ones when temp’tures rise.
Where the ice caps glisten, as pol’ticians listen,
To those, who say warmin’ is just lies…

I’m dreamin’ of a brown Christmas
With every burnin’ drop of oil.
May your days be hot and despoil’d!
And may all the lakes and seas just boil.

A.

Today, Mr. theonlypersonidislikeinmyoffice told me (through another coworker) that the Disney cookie tin I put instant coffee and snacks in (that used to hold the cookies that my coworkers and I handed out to everyone, including him) was visually displeasing (it is apparently too flashy…Disney?  Flashy?  It’s the end of the world!) and that I should put it out of his line of sight.

Dear Mr. (personthatrhymeswithmustard),

Next time, please tell me in person and tell me clearly what it is you want.  Also, when I greet you in the morning, I would like some eye contact and an actual phrase that sounds like “good morning” and not “mumblemumble” or whatever the f*** is coming out of your mouth.

with love,

E

P.S.  Will you send someone to tell me how you got your present position with your obvious lack of communication skills?  Maybe then, will I stop complaining about you everyday after work and commenting on your unfortunate, obvious lack of hair.

I am a turkey.

4 years ago, I thought I would figure out what I wanted to do after graduating.  What a misconception!

I am just as lost as I was before, only (theoretically) smarter, and definitely worse for wear (aka FATTER and STRESSED OUT).

How can I escape from this disappointment in myself and life?

Not with Thanksgiving dinner.

- E, disillusioned and alone, in the land where no one knows what a turkey looks like, much less eaten one.

P.S.  Happy Thanksgiving!  One way to escape disappointment is to be thankful!  <- true story

P.P.S. I miss last Thanksgiving.

Punctuation.

I use it in formal writing, but use little to none when iming.  No upper-case, no apostrophes, no periods, no nothing.

I also press ENTER every time I would take a breath in real life.

This is why I love commas most.  It lets me take a breather here and there, and make run-on sentences, and such.

Hey, I’ve always gotten A’s on my papers (as long as it was non-fiction).

So I say, TO HELL WITH PUNCTUATION! (as long as you know when to use it).

For those who don’t :

Disclaimer:  This is obviously only for apostrophes.  For the rest…READ READ READ books.  Teaching grammar is useless unless it’s for a foreign language.